Is a female driver really better to have than a male driver? Do you feel safe as a female rider and/or driver? What can you do yourself to ensure your own safety? Are there tools to help reinforce our safety and are you using those tools?
My questions and suggestions are endless! This blog couldn’t possible contain them so I’ll be revisiting this subject matter over and over again from various viewpoints and perspectives. For the pass week or two the subject matter with riders is about the young college student in South Carolina horribly murdered by someone who she thought was her UBER driver. I will not be diving into the issue, but I must be clear to express that matter is least likely to happen to any of you. This lone individual that committed this heinous crime was an opportunist, a monster, on the prowl and took the opportunity to carry out his sick drive.
Some of you may know, but I have almost 14+ years in law enforcement serving in multiple capacities having dealt with all types of criminals as an officer. If there is anything I can say about most criminals it’ll have to be they often commit their crimes due to the individuals taking control of this situation. If you give them an inch they damn sure will take a mile and then some! Now ladies I will first have to help you get out of your mind that male rideshare drivers are creepers. Don’t carry around that notion. I know plenty of great male drivers that would never violate you. That also go for female rideshare drivers, do not fear being victimized sure some men will overstep their boundaries, but ultimately you have control and you must know how to own that control.
It is my goal to show both you women rideshare drivers and riders how to ensure your own safety. Today we are going to focus on two aspects of being able to do so and here they are.
- PRESENCE!
- VERBAL COMMANDS!
Ladies anytime I’ve been somewhat victimized it was on a micro level. No one has ever put their hands on me, but they have been pushy and in aggressive in their approach sexually. Often these men have had a bit too much to drink, but never was I not able to assert myself and speak up for myself to take control of the situation. Don’t just limit these suggestions to rideshare, but use it in your everyday dealings. I am not one to be easily offended, but I refuse to be disrespected. In this day not even passive aggression should be tolerated, nip it in the bud ASAP!
Presence, is a very powerful weaponry. In my years of law enforcement one thing was clear to of those that were victimized and that is they lacked presence, they had no situational awareness and was a bit to carefree. Predators look for this so that they have full advantage of taking advantage of you. As a female rider and driver, assert your presence, make eye contact always, speak clear, and don’t engage in conversation that is not professional. Sit straight up and always appear to be attentive. Head up, shoulders back, and get your face out of your cell phone. If you are a female rider pay attention to the navigation and don’t go to sleep in the car. Verbal Commands, speak up and assert your voice, not don’t be mean but be direct in your tone. If anyone tries to divert the conversation to a more sexual flirtatatous context, quickly assess the situation and avoid any form of response that will have them to think they can pursue the conversation further. Vocalize you’re not interested nor do you entertain such conversations. Be weary of those that overly compliment your beauty, features, clothing, etc. Always take control of the situation and be prepared to stand firm on your standards, establish firm boundaries and never allow them to be crossed by NO ONE! Some people will try to violate you and honestly believe they did nothing wrong because you chose to avoid speaking up for yourself. They will literally say “well they never said nothing”.
One time I had a CoCa-Cola executive who had been drinking get way outta line. It was a long trip from like Atlanta to Duluth on a Thursday night or so. At first I took his advances as typical drunk guy talk and I casually dismissed it. He then leads into suggesting sex for pay and how he’s willing to tip me greatly ($200-$300 bucks whatever I like) for “extra service”. I kept acting dumb because I literally wanted him to make clear of what he was asking. Once tired of his shit I quickly took control of the situation and began reading his ass his last rights so to speak. I advised him of the rules and how someone especially of his caliber should not be doing this. The irony is his wife called in the middle of all this! I told him I’d have to stop the trip if he continued. His drunk ass for the last 10 minutes of the ride of so kept apologizing, he then realized I wasn’t some dumb little girl looking to trick off to make some extra cash. I think some of these jerks think we are desperate for money and willing to do anything so they passively try to take advantage of those in rideshare. He clearly grew fearful of me opening my mouth, I even think he used the CoCa-Cola corporate account so surely he didn’t want this to get back to them. He asked me to drop him off down the street from his house (guess he forgot the address is in the app), so I did so, rated him a 1 and left clear notes on the rider in the app.
When I ruminate on the incident I know where I messed up, I allowed his conversation to go to far assuming he’s drunk, he’ll pass out, he don’t know what he’s saying when in fact he was fully conscious of his actions! I was a bit to friendly and should’ve addressed the matter ASAP! I felt dirty and as if I knew better, I wanted to rip that dudes face off after thinking about it more. I grew angry at myself for underestimating him and being to passive in my approach. Sometimes it’s the mental aftermath that is damaging causing you to question yourself over and over again, so don’t let that be you! Take control, have a firm presence, meaning be in the moment and fully aware, and vocalize anything you do not like or agree with regardless of the consequences!
THE CEO DRIVEHER 